Present in a Body You're Surveilling — Notes on Body Image and Intimacy
Perspectives on why it can be difficult to be present during intimacy when you don't feel good in your body, and how body neutrality and embodiment can help.
Presence Over Performance — What Sensate Work Has Taught Me So Far
I used to think sensate work was about sex and orgasms. What it actually asked of me was quieter: to stop treating touch as something that has to go somewhere. This is what it's taught me so far about performance pressure, why talking came first, and why being present only helps when it feels safe.
Honesty, Radical Acceptance, and the Grief In Between — What I'm Still Learning About Wants, Needs, and Desires
I used to think caring for someone meant protecting them from my wants and needs. Getting honest instead gave everyone a real choice, and surfaced grief I didn't expect. Here's what I'm still learning about honesty, radical acceptance, and the grief in between.
Losing the Plot — Notes on Defensiveness & Mentalizing in Conflict
Notes on mentalization-based therapy, the patterns that take over mid-conflict, and a tool I use with partners and partnered systems, and in my own relationship, to catch it before the cycle plays out.
How We Got Here
I've always been the curious type — science just wasn't where that curiosity ended up pointing. Here's the story behind Here We Are Therapy, and what curiosity, connection, and sitting with people actually taught me about this work.